Cruelty an artform

My roommate S is the nastiest unkindest cruelest meanest person I know. One week after an abscess was removed from my body, the surgeon advised that I should get my dressing done at home instead of traveling to the hospital everyday. (Yes, the Operation Theatre experience was very painful. Yes, I cried, but not too much. Yes, I am a brave girl. Yes, I should be resting at home but there’s too much work. Yes, health comes first, but if I am jobless I shall starve and that’s not healthy either. Yes, I am open to all the sympathy that I can get. Yes, I sound needy. Yes, I am needy. Yes, Yes! I shall get back to the story.)
S had a field day changing the dressing for me. We locked the door lest the maid found us in a compromising state. S could not stop giggling. I gave her a reprimanding look and told her that it just showed how ‘close’ we are to each other. S, still giggling, removed the dressing and gasped. A deafening silence ensued for a brief five seconds. And then she spoke, “There’s a big gaping hole”. Breaking into another uncontrollable giggling fit she said, “We can use it for a candle holder.”
As I said, my roommate S is the nastiest unkindest cruelest meanest person I know.